Have you seen them wear their wiggies
On their balding heads?
And for all the little wiggies
Lives are so near death,
Always having heads to put a wig on

Have you seen them wear their wiggies
When people come to call?
You will find the bigger wiggies
Hoping they don’t fall,
Always standing tall when they put their wigs on

With their pieces and all their tacking
They don't care what goes on around
On their heads there's something lacking
What they need's a damn good wrapping

There are lots of old men wearing wiggies
Living wiggy lives
They will wear them out for dinner
With their wiggy wives
Clutching them for jives or when they’re dancing