(Maxwell's Silver Hammer)
Grandma wasn’t physical, and her shape was very spherical
Lived in a nursing home
Late nights all alone with a tv, ohh uh oh oh
Mister Jerome living in the nursing home
Calls her on the phone
"Can I take you Down to dinner, Jo-o-o-oan?"
But as she's getting ready to go
She opens the cabinet door
Down, down Grandma’s little helper
Is placed within her mouth
Down, Down, Grandma ‘s little helper
Started heading south.
The tv’s loud again, Gran annoys the crowd again
Nurses get annoyed
Wishing to avoid an unpleasant scene
They tell Gran she’s staid but she needs a hearing aid
Grandma does not agree
Unless they are for free and she tells them so, uh oh oh
But as the words are leaving her lips
She opens the cabinet door
Down, down Grandma’s little helper
Is placed within her mouth
Down, Down, Grandma ‘s little helper
Started heading south.
Last night Dad and Mum said, "Gran is on the valium"
Grandma lives alone
In the nursing home feeling low, ohh uh oh oh
Down in the infirmary they said she needed surgery
Grandma takes a pill (Grandma takes a pill)
She takes them at will and she tells them no, uh oh oh
But as the words are leaving his lips
She opens the cabinet door
Down, down Grandma’s little helper
Is placed within her mouth
Down, Down, Grandma ‘s little helper
Started heading south.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, oh
(Do-do, do-do do)