(No Reply)

This came once as a shock
When I had lowered my jocks
No three ply
And on this aging butt
And deep within the rut I’ll use
No other tissue
I called the wife
I called the wife
It’s up that you must hop
And go down to the shops
Post haste

There was nothing I could do
My butt was streaked with doo
No three ply
I was waiting gratefully
For you to walk in
So patiently
I nearly cried
I nearly cried
I never had a doubt
That we would ever run out
Of paper

If I was her, I'd realize that I
Am hoping that nothing goes awry
If another brand she buys and I
Yes I hope that she bring me home three ply

She finally came home
She thought she was alone
No three ply
'Cause I know what she’s like
Her mem'ries taken a hike
Like before
I simply cried
I simply cried
Because I’ll have to clean
With this magazine
In its place
No three ply
No three ply